5. The Unspoken ritual of a Qandeely

The Unspoken ritual of a Qandeely…

I never understood my passion to buy all these candles and their housings. Always liked to watch light and shadow patterns caused by the burning candles placed inside them.

Lot of countries uses little oil lamps especially in “holy houses of God”. Their little lamps are called Qandeel. It consists of a little pot filled with oil, where a little floating filament is placed and lit. This cup is then covered with glass. Greeks are very famous to use these qandeels. They make them in different shapes and colors.

These Qandeels have always some spiritual meaning and they remind us of prayers, and help us seek the peace a little prayer brings.

I have a Qandeel at home, but I use little candles instead of oil. I place a candle whenever am at home. I usually say a little prayer… no special words, just a little prayer to ask peace to a troubled soul somewhere.

Day after day I do this till one day I felt I am not really praying anymore, I was just murmuring some words what has to do with God. My prayers are no prayers anymore… I tried to pray again and again… but peace never came to my heart the way it used to be, I was troubled. I tried to read paragraphs from the Psalms, tried to repeat prayers I was taught at school…

Read and found, then tried to understand... tried and tried… lot of times I am surprised how great things can be hidden inside a little symbol, where is the symbol I should look for?

Simple little things…yet…

Pure heart…
Honest word…
Kept promise…
Word of mercy…
Touch of love…
Dream…

Did you notice that simple words with fewer letters are harder to say…or to ask…?

Whole my life am trying to keep up with these words, making sure to have the candle light shine… till that person came into my life…I have no name to give to that person…

Together we explored life… together we lit lot of little candles… we walked and learned to let our souls sip sunshine and music…

One day… after long years… after we lost track of each other… we meet again…

We discovered together that my candles are not shining as before… the candles are the same… the walls are the same… but…

You have spent so much time in your inner self, you forgot about me… then took my hand and walked me inside my inner space… wow… little space is left… it is full with my prayers, papers, toys… pens… lost stories… tears…words I wrote… wishes… moments of joy… everything is there… exactly where I left them…

We are humans, to be strong we can not be pure, purity is not a virtue… look at metals, best metals are never pure… you spent lot of time studying these facts… why would humans be different. Accept impurities… because they strengthen us…

Your candles are not shining anymore because your glass cover is smudged… when you thought you were doing the right thing, you were weakening yourself little by little thinking of becoming pure… pure of anger and hatred… you had one picture you wanted to have and reflect it on the wall by your candles… the picture of Love…

I envy you, I know how much you tried, and the nights you spent begging for guidance… I heard all your cries and saw your tears… but you locked yourself inside that one idea… and forgot even about me…

Your love to love is amazing…but it is not strong enough to make a difference…do not direct your thoughts towards one idea.

Look around for guidance, learn from others. Little by little you will notice that there are no differences, but there are lots of angles that most of times we do not even know they exist.

You know what they say; kids and philosophers share the ability to be surprised at any given moment in time or space…

The smudge on your glass will stay and will not allow your ideas flow (although they are great ideas). Accept the smudge, and then clean it from time to time, by exploring your inner and allow the power from other ideas to enrich yours…

Note: Qandeely in Arabic means my Qandeel, where in Greek it means little Qandeel…see there is no a difference… but different angles…