Else they will just be another figure…

Today early morning at some country time zone 6 men lost their lives, another got injured, and lots of families got devastated while waiting for news and hear the voice of their loved ones.

Today history added to its record more blood and flesh.. claimed more hatered and darkness …

Today someone told me it was just the guest house, and this should not effect our operations…

In God’s name those are men and women who we serve to have an email going through or to make a phone call…

Yeah, their families will get a big lump sum of money … just like others did… but their families will not have them for dinner anymore, they will not be there for Christmas, or when their daughter will get married… they are gone… they are a memory of someone we served…

Let’s start again.. today the guest house was hit

Men went down…

Today, the blue and white gave its ultimate donation and claim nothing

Today 6 is not the figure… today we all serve those who are out there

Today these 6 are the 6 billions that are slaughtered in the name of God

Let’s stand up and say .. they are not just figures… they are each one of us.. can you count how many we are?

In days of war we pretend to laugh , pretend to be heroes, pretend and pretend... the reality is kept in the no man land .. kept so nobody can reach and touch or even know. We try to laugh, we try to pray, then smile, then surrender, but reality always stays in the no man land.

It is not true that war teaches how to be antimaterialistic... war teaches nothing but fear and teach us how to keep reality in that zone of out-of-reachness, reality is good to be hidden.. what would I do with reality I have to survive.. forget knowing...forget ...forget..forget... but no where for forgiveness... no where for peace..its war.. are you but an idiot if you think war will take you to a wonderland once its over...

Richness in life and feelings teaches humbleness and detachment... not war... war leaves sadness, tears, anger and fear ... that's the war I lived and thought I am a hero... no heroes in war...there are only losers.. and we keep reality hidden under thousand justifications ... hide it with God the unreachable .. the Unknown... what we would want to know?...

My war was not the bomb, was not the pain, my war is the fear, is the anger ... is the painful resentment that I stayed to watch the fall ... but instead I fell, the shelter of survival could not take the weight of my fears... it collapsed...

Today am out of that shelter, in wide open life, in the reality that we can not hide, I still hide behind my fear, I still talk of the glories of war...

In memory of 19 August 2003...

Peace...

Moments of peace...
Let go that guilt
It helped me find me
Guilt helped me understand
We are friends
Guilt cries, hard to know
Because I do not want to know
Guilt pushed furhter and further
Till I could not stop
Till I allowed myself to know
Those dreams are me
Every minute me belongs elsewhere
So many IDs so many sides
Same me Guilt helped me
I never gave up trying