16. The Ritual Spot

16. The Ritual Spot

On Friday, took off to the Ritual Spot as I do everyday.
All looked perfect...
Just a walk at the ritual place,
Where God was there before me,
Waiting for our daily walk...

We held hands and smiled,
He saw my questions.
My arguments.

He held me by the arm
Together we jumped a little rock, and we laughed
"Forgive me Father", He did not say why
"Father, your forgiveness I seek"

He looked and asked,
"Why would I forgive you?"
Because you failed?
Because of Temptation?
Or maybe because of anger and envy?

"All"; I said
He took a deep breath and … said
"Can not do much here"
Forgiveness is among you… within you…
For failure… forgive yourself
For temptation… forgiveness comes when it is over…
As for anger, rage and envy… Forgive it… then accept it…
When anger, jealousy an d envy find their way to your life… only love that you have felt ones, only that can bring the smile back to your face…

15. The Ritual of existence

Deeds reflect beliefs...

What a simple fact that triggered my imagination... this is just a simple idea, but try to live with it... abide your life to it...

Why would I ask in a prayer for a clearer path... better vision... when the path is there and can see it...

It all started when a crazy idea crossed my mind... a thought that still visit me from time to time... well.. for me each one of us is THE CENTRE of this universe we live in...

Life and paths are the interaction of these centers trying to share the beauty.

Another idea followed this... the only fate I believe in is our existence... we exist to share this beauty freely... so free that we can, and sometimes do, choose to set our eyes away from it...

Are these the criteria that sets the rules and justify the results? That's my haunting line which started to give my life a different meaning...

A new beginning...

Decisions and choices have always been a quest for me...the question I keep asking "Why choices exist?"

How many of these choices really exist... how many of them we force them to drop from our list... Do we really pick up our own choice?

Or

Or our beliefs that will take us to the paths that we want to walk through.

Our beliefs are the harvest of seeds we allow to grow in our lives...

13. Those who believe in me are my mother and brothers

In few of the rituals, I feel I was too daring… I got few feedbacks telling me this…

Today, I am stepping that threshold that we placed around us… and dare to discuss a new ritual…

Lately, I started to research about the concept of “Believing”… specially believing in us… I guess that believing in us is the second virtue that is introduced to humanity…

Till recently, I thought love was the power that flows from nowhere to everywhere… but reality is that believing is the light of that power….

In an earlier ritual, I spoke about a hero who is not a hero anymore… war is over and all heroes went back home…. But most of these heroes are still lost souls…

Those heroes did not finish fighting their battle… their final fight ... which no matter how heroic they are … yet they fear that last battle…

The last frontier they have to reach, the last no-man-land they have to walk…

That last line is to face bravely their own dreams and own selves…

This night I had a dream… in this dream I was having dinner with friends, then another group of people came in, and one of them was an old dear friend from work. Someone who I looked high at…

In real life this person has everything that makes me proud to be his friend…we worked together as a team, and always together…

So in my dream I jumped when I saw him, we hugged and took him to introduce him to my friends… I introduced him saying here is my friend from old days, he is the bravest, noblest, and one of the smartest people I have ever met and worked with.

Then we all sat together and started to tell everyone about our adventures together…

He was so embarrassed, he is a very shy person, and very humble, so practically he was blushed (I think he would be even in real life too).

When I stopped and started to breathe again… he looked at me and said… I do know that I did a lot of things as she is saying… but I could not do any of these daring acts as she says, unless I knew she was next to me… supporting me to the last second… and sometimes I still wonder if I could ever have done them without her being there…

I woke up and still wondering about this dream…

This friend really believed in me, we went together through hard times, times when I had to take decisions and actions, that today I look back at and still feel scared to take them…

Now I started to think that as much as we need to believe in God, we need to make Him believe in us, for our deeds reflect our belief in Him, not our thoughts and words… and we will only start doing when we believe in ourselves…

When I was praying … when the prayer was answered, I felt Him looking at me believing in me… and whispering in my ears… you can do it… go for it…

I think I have reached my final frontier, and I can say… war is over for me, and am back to my family… for those who believe in me are my mother and brothers… they are my family… and we are part of this family which we choose its members …

12. Ritual of a Prayer

12. Ritual of a Prayer

Kyrie Eleison … oh Kyrie

In days like these churches around the world chants these two words with angelic voices… Kyrie Eleison*…

In Baghdad we do the same. Every year on Good Friday, churches will cover their altar with black or violet sheets, symbolizing the death of Christ… the death of His ideas in a very humiliating death… crucifixion

At the cathedral we would gather and say prayers…

Prayers that mostly reflecting the pain endured by…
a weak simple person…
a Mother who just witnessed the death of Her only Son…
a group of friends who just lost their Captain and Kyrie…

Friends and beloved ones…

This year the pain is not symbolic anymore in Baghdad… for this city lives through its great people this pain continuously … every day and every moment…

Kyrie… oh Kyrie… we ask you for mercy … for a second chance…

Let’s pray…

Kyrie… help Baghdad to rise …
Kyrie… make Baghdad accept your love and mercy…
Kyrie… forgive our weaknesses…
Kyrie… give us a hand to stand again…

To those who still live the fear and pain of failure and disappointment… I beg of you all… do not give up … look inside your hearts, and remember those days when you were praying with tears and a bleeding heart…

Kyrie does not a lamb for this year Easter Sunday…
Kyrie… asks and waits for your humble heart.. give it to Him
Kyrie... we look towards heavens through an empty tomb…
Kyrie… look at your rising believers…
Kyrie… we ask you for mercy… we ask you for a second chance…

Beloved ones… whether you are still in Baghdad or outside Iraq… my heart cries for your pain….

In the name of all mercy and eternal love…

Do not forget the moments we spent together on those wooden benches praying and revealing to Him our true self.

My heart aches for your sorrows…

I ask you to see with the eyes of your hearts… look at the flame of God’s love…

Allow His angels to remove the stone and reveal the empty tomb…

This year at Saturday midnight, when you light the Easter candle… repeat the Churches words…”Christ has risen…” then add to it… “Baghdad will rise too…”





* Kyrie Eleison… is a Greek phrase which means God (Lord) have mercy (save us)

10. Ritual of the Little Jar

Ritual of the Little Jar

While we are growing up we learned by experience that no space can be occupied by two things at same time (I avoided mentioning the word physics this time).

The other day I took my little jar and set for a discovery trip in the small town I live in. In that jar there is lot of little papers, on each one of them I wrote a story. Each story is my problems that stay with me till the end of day, I thought by doing so I will not take them to my dreams when I go to sleep.

The jar was full, so I decided to come up with a ritual of some sort. However, the jar is full now and no more space to add.

I was thinking to take my jar and sit by the seaside and read all these papers and laugh at them… So I did… but instead of laughing, I kept on reading them time after time…

The sun was so warm... the sea was jumping like a happy child… a shy cloud was traveling alone in the blue sky… the wind was so gentle… making sure it will not take away my papers…

After a while I ended up with my jar again on one side… papers were just on my other side… I was in the middle between my papers and the empty jar…

Suddenly a nice voice calls my name, saying “give away your papers to the sea “… I argued that these are my stories… which I spent hours living them and writing them… the voice kept telling me to throw them away.

Then the sea reached out its waves, and started to touch my feet gently… so I started to read each paper for last time, then throw them into the vast sea…

The sea patiently took all my papers, I stood there watching how the sea read each paper, then took its words and ink… slowly all papers were gone into the deep sea… I waved my hand to the hours I spent and to the words I put there…

I ended up walking in the city with my empty jar. By time all shops were closed (probably they were never opened that day… not sure) the only shop I found was the flower shop.

In that shop there was this man whose face can not say how old is he … He tried to help me around his shop proudly telling me the differences between flowers… it was then when he noticed my little jar…

He took my jar to his working bench and placed the nicest bouquet of flowers, all flowers were short to fit inside the jar.

He handed me the jar and said, “…till one hour ago, your jar was full of disturbing moments… I saw you giving them away to the great love of the sea…”

He continued “each of these flowers will now be a new story… one is the story of the sun and the stars that God has put for us in heaven… the other is the heart of all mothers… the other little flowers need names… so you take care of them…”

Take your jar home, he said, enjoy these flowers… in a week or two your jar will be empty ready for your little papers … come back when it’s full and I will put more flowers…

9. The Ritual not of a Comet

The Comet in my Life

Do not be the comet in my life
Do not be the little prince
Do not be a nice unreachable dream

Be the rock in the stream
I’ll be the stream that sings
Together we will make spring on Earth

When winter comes,
And snow blankets the stream,
You and I will be united,

Be the song that never ends,
Be the word that ever stays,
Be there…

Let’s build the path…

9. The Ritual NOT of a Comet

I think I am drifting a little bit in these rituals. This time, just like a song…

Comets have been freely wondering the universe for eras and long time; some predict that life on Earth started when a comet hit Erath that had the prototype of Enzymes. There are other facts about Comets that fill tons of books.

The first Comet I saw was few years ago, it showed like a faint silver line in the dark sky. It visited our sky for few days, then it left, and it will come back after few tens of years.

A comet is like a life pendulum that keeps coming back to the same point time after time without even thinking to stop. People from over the world created myths about comets, others tried their best to study, predict and document comet visits.

In all cases everybody would wait for the comet to arrive in great anticipation. When Hali comet visited Earth, the whole world stood on its feet waiting for this visitor.

Visitors are always welcomed and when they tend to leave, we always wish they can stay longer. Together we enjoy each moment, trying to make time to come to a halt, but time will fly and never wait… soon it will be time to say good bye.

Together we share these moments, I know we are lucky, at least we’ve seen and live these moments, others beg to have one of these. But, that what humans are about… always tend to satisfy the curiosity that made Humanity reach what it reached today in any of the fields of life.

During our cycle of life we come to cross others paths… and the cycle continues… every time we go through the joy of discovering each other, loving every moment … trying to repeat it … just like comets do to us.

Years after… you look back and see how many cycles you went through… and put that smile on your face… some of these cycles were so small… others are still going on…

Together we managed several times to cross paths with joy, even when these paths go through thorns of life… I am not trying to avoid reality… which is not about joy and laughter all time.

I wonder sometimes of what I should wish for… but my heart always calls for more cycles… yet my soul cries for the rock in the stream…

The Legend of a Hero…

The Legend of a Hero…

Did you come to see a hero
It is a gone legend
One day this hero was a hero
This hero was there for the seven,
The seven called upon the hero,
The hero was always a hero
Feeling lonely and proud
Feeling like a hero…

Years passed
Then …
Nineteen days passed…
Our hero had to face the seven …
The seven were calling again
The hero looked back
See the fall of the seven
Seven disappeared slowly
Behind smoke of death and wreckage
Seven were calling upon their hero
Deep from below the chaos
They needed their hero
Hero just kept walking…

On that day the hero died
But did not rest in peace
Hero’s life is spared to rise again

The hero is now cursed
Cursed with the need to give
Cursed to disbelieve in … being loved
Not being able to love enough
Cursed with smell of fire
Cursed with sight of blood and death

All dead rest in peace
The dead hero did not rest in peace

The hero has to look and see at an ugly reflection
An ugly soul
Cursed with love
Haunted by one sole idea
“Give up… it is not your call”
Hero is no hero anymorePray for the hero’s soul to find peace again

8. The ritual of the …

The ritual of the …

Being raised in some kind of conservative atmosphere drew a perfect picture in my mind about certain issues.

One of the earliest logos that was engraved on my young rock of knowledge is “God is love”.

Years passed, the young rock managed to stay intact in spite of the shocks my mind had when started to interact with this “conservative atmosphere”… anyway… that logo merged again to surface… and started to help me go through moments of stormy events…

Last night I was walking under the rain wondering about life… realized that God used love to reveal Himself to us… it might be that love was before the word… maybe I can be too daring to say that He created love … before anything else…

Through His teachings He asked us to love others… specially the ones we do not share this love with…no matter what the reason is…

As hard and holy as this idea sounds … it is not impossible… actually it is so reachable that you are surprised to how do you miss it…

Lot of these people does not share love… for very simple reason… they never experienced love… and they are too proud to admit it…

All of us know when we love… but lots don’t know when they are loved… even when talking about God’s love.

This great feeling is becoming like a mechanical transfer from one state to another. Making these four letters just… well… letters… nothing more.

These kind of people even when they say they love their nearest people, they do it because they have to… not because others deserve it… they always expect the other side should do the same… because they were told that love is give and take… you have to pay few caring moments… as a payback for the moments I gave you…

To be in love is to do everything that does not go along with what is written in the book entitled “time is money”… being in love is to be crazy… to laugh… to forget using reason to explain how things are working…simply let love do the living…

To be in love is to be able to say “I love you” to the Other… whoever is that… knowing that these words are to someone who deserves to be loved… the same way you are loved by your Creator… who helped you find and know love…


Love is not a two way street… it is the way to give for no reason… if you believe in this… then … only then… when you say those words… they will be no more of love… they will be of agape that your listener will suddenly see the door that was always there but afraid to open or even look through its key hole…and will let you in…

Love is the path to God… and everybody deserves to be loved…

This is what I learned … this is what to share with you … else it becomes another forgotten ritual…

7. The ritual of the Rock

The ritual of the Rock

Till now am not sure why I decided to write all this… but writing then sharing these little stories became so important for my sanity.

Today I will write about a new unspoken ritual. A ritual dedicated to the group of children that I proudly belong to.

I am always accused of being childish; do not make sense, yet so daring in certain times, that I even surprise myself.

I want to write about one million things that are trying to reveal themselves through this little poor pen.

One thought has been keeping me busy since I finished writing the unspoken ritual of the empty chair.

One single thought about the rock that is lying in the water stream. That rock is there for me to see and write about.

The rock was shining under water, yet once I took out and dried it; it lost its luster, and revealed thousands… millions of tiny holes that made the rock to be rough.

I looked and found so many shiny stars and suns inside the rock. Droplets of water are captured inside these holes.

I have studied the forces that can keep these droplets trapped inside, yet I still admire the Creator who put the thought so that someone would enjoy these little droplets.

I can not stop getting surprised and excited every time I look at things, no matter that I might know the boring figures and analysis is made by scientists to explain the existence of such phenomena… in spite of all this I can’t stop the child inside me to jump at the beauty of these stones.

This rock was formed ages ago, age’s astronomical number of years… yet at this particular moment in history and place on Earth, it came under my eyesight… This rock was built during very complex process while Earth was taking its shape…

Yet… yet… I was the one who decided to pick It up and look at the droplets there…

At certain time of philosophy history, Earth was considered the centre of Universe, scientist kept working till they reached the sole fact that Human Beings is the centre of Universe… we always follow and judge things by their material value and facts…

We always forget that we are here… we exist…God has spent so much time for us to know Him, to enjoy His creation… how come we do not judge this… we are the centre of all Universes, yet we disgrace the honor given to us, by not looking at the little rocks lying on the side of the roads…

These rocks are so pure… so fragile… so loving… it is us who passed by and looked at them and did not even bother to take their hand and wipe the tear from their aching heart… we just judged them that they are the others who we live pretending they do not exist.

We fear to be judged by others… yet we forget the nights when we wept when our dreams were shattered and no hand reached out to hug us.

Although our days on earth are short compared to the age of rocks… yet these little moments that we live … build the history of humanity…that’s what we are… the centre of all Universes…

Lot of scientists avoid to follow the path, trying to separate scientific research from spiritual concepts… they are trying to stay scientific… same scientists have no clue how music brings harmony to our lives… lot of how questions that are unanswered because our glorious scientists decided to avoid this path…

Some of them expressed their fear of trying to search the reason behind our existence… give that question to a child … then sit back and watch his replies… he will keep on giving millions of answers…

Once a little boy was asked… where you were before coming to this family. He simply replied… in God’s thoughts…

No matter how old this rock is… it still calls the child within for answers about its existence…

6. The ritual of an Empty Chair

The ritual of an Empty Chair

What do you think of when you see an empty chair… which of below is more descriptive…?

A hope… a memory… a commitment… yourself…

I always wondered why???

During my physics study, I admired the way Physics look at things… it opens new doors to same facts… it creates its own view of logic…

Lot of people tells me Physics is about figures numbers and lot of formulas…

Others accuse physics of stripping the beauty from nature, because it tends to formulate everything to formulas and numbers…

Well, these might be true… for Physics books have so many formulas that most of the pages are empty, with few words in them.

But doesn’t all surrounding matter is mostly made of space…

Think of the far away galaxies… constellations… that are all empty space… go to the atom and you will be surprised with the amount of empty space…

So far nothing is so fascinating… I guess …but the concept or idea that fascinated me most in physics is “the state of non-existence”… “The state of non-existence”…a good example of “the state of non-existence is the positron is a non-existing electron…

What a concept… when Al Khawarizmi presented his idea of the “zero”, he gave a face to “NOTHING”, can you imagine how many red lines he crossed to say numbers need a “NULL”… a “NOTHING”

When “NOTHING” is added to a figure, it either multiplies the figure or it wouldn’t change anything… all depends on which side the zeros are standing…

“Nothing” can even change numbers from teens to Twenties…

On the other hand when “the non-existing” electron meets and electron… they both disappear and energy in different forms is released.

Let’s go back to my empty chair… it is the space I need to move, to breathe. I always sit next to an empty chair… ask for one if it is not available…

Sometimes, my non-existing self sits on it and we both reach hands and disappear…
There is so much space in our lives… wonder how much this space can hold…from now on, and empty chair is the space I have to have…

The space that can be filled…
…by an idea
… by a friend
… by a thought
… by love

I wonder how much of space is left…

Have never bowed in respect for something more than an empty chair…

That empty chair is there for any new possibility in my life,

And if I work hard, and allow it… it might be filled with my wildest imagination… and it will meet my reality … they will both generate so much… that the whole world might feel it…

5. The Unspoken ritual of a Qandeely

The Unspoken ritual of a Qandeely…

I never understood my passion to buy all these candles and their housings. Always liked to watch light and shadow patterns caused by the burning candles placed inside them.

Lot of countries uses little oil lamps especially in “holy houses of God”. Their little lamps are called Qandeel. It consists of a little pot filled with oil, where a little floating filament is placed and lit. This cup is then covered with glass. Greeks are very famous to use these qandeels. They make them in different shapes and colors.

These Qandeels have always some spiritual meaning and they remind us of prayers, and help us seek the peace a little prayer brings.

I have a Qandeel at home, but I use little candles instead of oil. I place a candle whenever am at home. I usually say a little prayer… no special words, just a little prayer to ask peace to a troubled soul somewhere.

Day after day I do this till one day I felt I am not really praying anymore, I was just murmuring some words what has to do with God. My prayers are no prayers anymore… I tried to pray again and again… but peace never came to my heart the way it used to be, I was troubled. I tried to read paragraphs from the Psalms, tried to repeat prayers I was taught at school…

Read and found, then tried to understand... tried and tried… lot of times I am surprised how great things can be hidden inside a little symbol, where is the symbol I should look for?

Simple little things…yet…

Pure heart…
Honest word…
Kept promise…
Word of mercy…
Touch of love…
Dream…

Did you notice that simple words with fewer letters are harder to say…or to ask…?

Whole my life am trying to keep up with these words, making sure to have the candle light shine… till that person came into my life…I have no name to give to that person…

Together we explored life… together we lit lot of little candles… we walked and learned to let our souls sip sunshine and music…

One day… after long years… after we lost track of each other… we meet again…

We discovered together that my candles are not shining as before… the candles are the same… the walls are the same… but…

You have spent so much time in your inner self, you forgot about me… then took my hand and walked me inside my inner space… wow… little space is left… it is full with my prayers, papers, toys… pens… lost stories… tears…words I wrote… wishes… moments of joy… everything is there… exactly where I left them…

We are humans, to be strong we can not be pure, purity is not a virtue… look at metals, best metals are never pure… you spent lot of time studying these facts… why would humans be different. Accept impurities… because they strengthen us…

Your candles are not shining anymore because your glass cover is smudged… when you thought you were doing the right thing, you were weakening yourself little by little thinking of becoming pure… pure of anger and hatred… you had one picture you wanted to have and reflect it on the wall by your candles… the picture of Love…

I envy you, I know how much you tried, and the nights you spent begging for guidance… I heard all your cries and saw your tears… but you locked yourself inside that one idea… and forgot even about me…

Your love to love is amazing…but it is not strong enough to make a difference…do not direct your thoughts towards one idea.

Look around for guidance, learn from others. Little by little you will notice that there are no differences, but there are lots of angles that most of times we do not even know they exist.

You know what they say; kids and philosophers share the ability to be surprised at any given moment in time or space…

The smudge on your glass will stay and will not allow your ideas flow (although they are great ideas). Accept the smudge, and then clean it from time to time, by exploring your inner and allow the power from other ideas to enrich yours…

Note: Qandeely in Arabic means my Qandeel, where in Greek it means little Qandeel…see there is no a difference… but different angles…

4. Ritual of a Friend

Ritual of a Friend

My friend had a dream
My friend spoke of a dream
My friend told me to keep it
My friend asked me to leave it
It is just a dream…

Dream came true
Was no dream anymore
Was part of my friend’s life

My friend is so happy…
My friend’s dream made me happy too…

Someone came and said.. wow it is true nowI said… yeah see it in my eyes
My friend had a true dream

But how…someone asked
Do not ask how…
You do not have the right
It is my friend dream
And now I am happy

Sometimes questions should not be asked
Sometimes… just be happy
I will be happy if your dream come true
Will not ask why you not me
Just be your friend’s friend

Once you are a friend
You share and cherish
Your dreams might not be the same
But your happy moments belong to both

My friend shares my joy the same…
And believes in me for no reason
Can you do this?
If you do not believe with no reason
Then love never passed through your life




I will pray …
For you I will pray…
Ask God for a second of love

If you have not believe with no reason
Then friend is not in your dictionary
Envy and dishonesty found their way to your heart

Will pray for flame of love
To set fire your heart and soul
And brings light to your eyes
To heal your wounds of hate

I am not perfect… I have my wounds too…but

I want you as a friend …before I give up